Tag Archives: alligator a la sauce piquant

Swamp People have invaded my home

"Daz a beeg alligeduh. Yup...BEEG alligeduh!"

Please, somebody help me. The show “Swamp People” has invaded my home, and The Complete Package is responsible. If you remember, we do not have cable television in our home. That fact alone has spared me from a lot of mindless programming. But then Netflix expanded their streaming repertoire, and we now have access to shows like “Ice Road Truckers” and “Swamp People.” Have you ever seen the swamp people? It’s Cajun gator hunting at its finest. Which is to say that it’s a step up from “Okie Noodling” because firearms are involved. I have no idea what the appeal is, truly, but TCP? Oh, yeah. He’s addicted. Smitten. Enthralled. And me? I’m disturbed. Confused. In denial.

Here’s a sampling of the phrases I’ve heard my college-educated computer engineer husband yell at the television this week:

“That’s Troy, honey. For the record, Troy is my favorite.”
(From the show’s website: “Known as the King of the Swamp, Troy is one of the bayou’s most charismatic hunters, a Cajun proud of his family’s long history in Pierre Parte. Last season he and his son captured the legendary Big Head, a huge 11-foot gator. This season, he and Jacob work with a new team member, a tough talking lady hunter named Liz—and don’t you dare call her Elizabeth.”)

“It’s a tree shaker! He’s got a tree shaker!”
(definition: a tree shaker is an alligator who is large enough to shake the tree the bait, line & hook are attached to.)

“Thaz a beeg alligeduh. Yep. A BEEG alligeduh.”
(translation: someone has just snared a very large alligator.)

“Oh, sweet! Junior just said, ‘pass me anudder rancid chicken!'”
(translation: I’m trying way too hard when I make dinner.)

Quote from the show: “Only the men cook alligator.” Cut to swamp women sitting on the dock drinking cocktails from plastic cups.
(translation: I’m trying way too hard when I make dinner.)

Alligator chef: “Tonight, we havin’ alligeduh à la sauce piquante!”
(translation: I’m not trying hard enough when I make dinner.)

Quote from the narrator, after gator hunting didn’t pan out: “It may have been a bad day for gators, but it’s a good night for froggin’. And around here, they eat just about anything for dinner.”
(translation: I need to read the menus closer the next time we visit New Orleans. Or hit Pat O’Briens first. They make a mean hurricane cocktail. Truly.)

Fascinating Fact: Did you know that if you measure the length between an alligator’s eyes and the tip of his snout, it will give you the alligator’s length? For example: a 12″ head measurement means a 12 foot alligator. See? The show goes beyond pure, guilty pleasure entertainment. It’s educational, as well.

Now, for the record, I’m not running down alligeduh hunters. I’ve eaten alligator and frog legs myself. Not often, granted, but I have tried them. I guess my problem is that I don’t like to see them killed any more than I’d want to watch a show called “Slaughterhouse Superheroes” and hear someone scream things like “He’s got a big burger there! Yup, a BEEG burger!” But that’s just me.

And I felt shame that “The Bachelor/Bachelorette” is my guilty pleasure show. How about you? What shows have you talking back to your television?



Filed under Miscellaneous Thoughts